Fart-Time Lover – Jalapeño Cilantro Hot Sauce Recipe
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Spiciness Level: 2/7
Green jalapeños, green spices, green onions…lots of green going on in here…
- 6-10 Jalapeños
- 4 sprigs Cilantro
- 2 Scallions
- 2 cloves Garlic
- 1/2 Cup Distilled White Vinegar
- 1 Tbsp Lime Juice
- 1 tsp Salt - Optional
- 2 Tbsp Sweetener - Optional
- Assemble all ingredients and lightly chop them. Turn on some Barry White for good measure.
- Throw everything but the vinegar and lime juice in a sauce pan to let it mingle and cook together for about 5 minutes. We typically add some water here as well just to get the juices flowing.
- Prepare to blend by transferring to your mixing container, adding the liquids, and blending until the consistency is to your liking.
- Here is where you can divert course a bit. Some folks like salt in their sauce and this would be a good time to add it, but we stay away from mean old Mr. Sodium. You could also add the sweetener or sugar at this point. Whatever your spicy heart desires.
- Put it all back in the sauce pan and cook down until you have a consistency you like.
- Bottle and eat whenever, but be sure to sing "tonight's the night for me and you my fart-time lover" whenever you are about to use it.
Hey you did a jalapeño hot sauce recipe last week, what gives? Well, we were hanging out with Spicy Steve and his wife this weekend making some sauces and decided to revisit a recipe that I absolutely hated the last time we made it. It was one of those times where you make a sauce and immediately are like, “yeah, not for me.” Spicy Steve and his lady liked it, but I knew there had to be a happy in-between.
In general cilantro can be a major turnoff. Especially for some folks who, rumor has it, have a gene that makes them think it tastes like soap. Or maybe it’s everyone else that has the gene that makes it not taste like soap. We can’t remember.
Looking at the recipe you’ll notice we have some optional ingredients. These are the pieces we identified as unnecessary, but for that first batch we made Spicy Steve loved it even more. Use your discretion, but overall we’ve come to not enjoy adding salt to our sauces, partially because the father of the farm has to watch his sodium intake.
This seems to be the perfect ratio of all the things, although you could probably ratchet up the garlic or scallions a little more, depending on what you want the final taste to be like. Fart-Time Lover goes perfectly on fish tacos, beef tacos, vegan tacos, any tacos really. Could also just be slapped in a bowl, blended less and used as dip.
Love that green! It cooks down pretty nicely but be careful it doesn’t cook down too much or it’s hard to get out of the bottle. Plenty of seeds to see, so I am a happy man. Fart-Time Lover turned out pretty well, but there are definitely different ways you could tweak it to your liking. Enjoy!