Hoggy’s BBQ – Uncut XXX Inferno – Spiciest Dish in Columbus Series
We’ve taken a look at Hoggy’s BBQ XXX Inferno wings previously, but that’s a cut from a more potent, flame-riddled sauce.
Last year when we reviewed the XXX Inferno sauce from Hoggy’s BBQ, we mentioned that there was rumor of an uncut version. We kept up with Hoggy’s and this year, when they made some more of the sauce, they reached out to us asking if we’d like to try the untempered version. We have many brain cells and are very trusting, so of course we said yes. After all, how bad could it be? Wing Wednesday was in full swing so we ordered twelve, picked them up and wondered what the future held.
As soon as I got these wings to the car, I knew I’d made a mistake. The smell was already overwhelming and the wings were still just in their box. Several times on the car trip home, The Lady of the Farm blurted out “I can’t, I can’t!” and rolled her window down to let out the hottest smell you’ve ever tasted. Without even eating them, the potency was ridiculous.
Once home, I opened the box. An immediate punch to my eyeballs of peppers, the likes of which is can only be compared to pouring acid directly into your face. I needed to take care of something before I could fully invest in eating these wings, but I wanted to at least get one in. Big mistake. Vinegar, garlic, magma. My mouth started watering immediately and two streams of tears exploded from my eyes. My tongue was engulfed in flames and I tried to remember what I needed to go take care of, but my brain wasn’t able to process any previous information. Four tissues later (yes, one wing led to four tissues), I remembered, closed the box, and sat in fear for twenty minutes.
Upon revisiting the box, the wings appeared angrier and more coated than previous. The sauce is thick, bordering on chunky, and is comprised of Carolina Reapers, Peach Ghost Peppers, and Chocolate Habaneros, a touch of garlic and a bit of vinegar. All peppers are grown locally either directly outside Hoggy’s restaurant or at the home of Executive Chef / Pitmaster / Magma-wrangler Keile Baney.
I closed my eyes, murmured to the fries to protect me on my journey, and hopped back in. The initial flavor is addictive with the vinegar, garlic and peppers. I love the flavor of peppers (why our sauces are typically pepper forward) and this sauce definitely let’s you taste them all. Similar to the Shinigami Ramen and the Carolina Reaper paste they used to make the broth, the uncut XXX Inferno sauce is essentially just reaper paste.
As I dove into the second wing, the wave of flavors and lava came rushing back. Have you ever wondered what sticking a hot poker through your tongue would be like? These wings are likely as close to that as you’ll come. The wings are still great and getting these on a Wing Wednesday made me feel a bit better about having got twelve of them. More turbo tears rushed by, attempting to cool my face down. Each bite I could feel my eyes bulge, a signal to my brain that no part of my body trusted my brain any more. Why was it doing this? Why was I doing this? I heard the question out loud and thought I was losing my mind from the Scovilles, but realized it was The Lady of the Farm sitting right across from me and shaking her head.
I reached for wing number three and thought of you dear reader and my duty to report the spiciest dishes to you. Another rush of pain, fire, peppers, and garlic consumed me and I wondered how much one person could tolerate in terms of heat. My face was warm and the under-eye sweat had ceased, my body giving up and forcing me to deal with my decision. I looked again at the pepper paste that coated the wings and could make out so many pieces of peppers and seeds that panic was setting in again. I still had 9 wings to go and was already feeling like death.
Working into the fourth wing, I remembered the fries. Surely they’d provide some solace from this molten heat train I was riding. Shoveling a handful in, I was dismayed that it provided no dent. Nothing. Same heat, the same corner of your mouth burning pain. I looked back at the wings and noticed a side cup of a red sauce. Surely this was something that could help cool me down. Nope, as if they were playing some sort of sick joke on me, the side cup is just MORE UNCUT XXX INFERNO SAUCE!
Reaching for the fifth wing, my leg had started to twitch and I noticed my hand had a slight shake to it. At this point, most of my blood had been replaced by pepper paste and I was running on adrenaline and willpower. I wondered what kind of superhero I’d be if my blood was completely replaced with pepper DNA. Before I could come to a conclusion, time stopped. Exiting my body, I looked at the tear streaks, the snot dripping off my nose, my hunched “I’m going to die later” posture and shook my head.
This was my life now, I’d accepted it. My mouth would never go back to the way it was. I was already planning out the rest of my painful evening and strategizing about how the next day would go. Dropping back into my undead pepper corpse, I grabbed a sixth wing, my hands on auto-pilot. Another hit of vinegar, a taste of garlic and peppers, and then pure pasty pepper death. My mouth hung open, this was an intensity unlike anything I’d had in a long time. I stared into the wings as they unlocked life’s mysteries and heard a voice whisper “giving up is not failing.” “You’re right wings!” I yelled, finishing the sixth wing and dropping it into the box. Looking at my fingers, coated in reaper paste, I made a decision. I threw in the towel and closed the box, drowning out the screams of the six untouched wings. The Uncut XXX Inferno defeated me. There was no way I was going to get through the rest and not look like a knight after an altercation with a dragon.
I smashed a few more fries and stood up to deposit the remainder of the box in the trash. An immediate head rush, wobbly knees and a deep sense of regret, hit me. I collected myself and marveled at how dead I was. These were by far the spiciest wings in the city of Columbus to date. I’ve never washed my hands in fear as much as I did that evening. At least four separate washings to make quadruple-y sure I wouldn’t accidentally burn out my eyeballs or any other skin I touched.
The remainder of the day consisted of eating a pint of ice cream and falling asleep sitting up due to the pepper bubble that appeared at the top of my gut. This is a “call in sick the next day” level of spicy and is unrecommended unless you are insane. The next morning was also rough. My burps still consisted of reaper heat and each one was a reminder of the deadliest sauce I’d eaten. As for the other end, well, let’s just say it was similar to The Brennender Berg in Germany, an eternal flame that never ceases. Would I eat these exact wings again? Absolutely not. I will say though, the flavor of them was addictive and likely the primary thing that kept pushing me forward.
I struggled with this decision for some time, but the pain during, in the middle, and after these wings, along with the insane heat of the paste that coats them all combine to make this the Spiciest Dish in Columbus. Bumping the Shinigami Ramen down to number two. The two dishes are similar in many ways with their intense heat, but the wings likely contain more density of peppers and don’t go down as easily as the Reaper Ramen broth. My cap is off to both Satori ramen and Hoggy’s BBQ. You’ve both brought me closer to death than I ever wanted to be, and I applaud you for that.
If you’re crazy enough to eat these, check ahead to see if they have this particular sauce. In the fall it’s likely they will have it, but unlikely the rest of the year. Be sure to ask for the uncut or untempered version when you call, otherwise you’ll get the cut version that uses vinegar and water to reduce the potency.
You can find Hoggy’s at 830 Bethel Rd, Columbus, OH 43214.
Look below for more in our spiciest dish in Columbus series and hit us up if you have any suggestions that are not already on our list!
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