The Crazzy Greek – Spiciest Dish in Columbus Series

You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.

The Crazzy Greek was recommended to us a while back, so we ventured out to Crazzy Greek II: Electric Boogaloo in Hilliard to see what their fiery options had to offer. With two locations, Crazzy Greek is currently doing delivery, take-out, or curbside pickup.

Spanakopitaaaa.

Crazzy Greek has a fairly large appetizer section ranging from classics like falafel and hummus to a few non-traditional items like gyro bites and onion rings. Spanakopita is still a dish that confuses me from a baking perspective (how does the crust do what it does?!), but the flakiness of the shell and the spinach, feta, onion mix inside makes it a must-get for your meal. As we were already grabbing two other spicy dishes, we opted to pass on the Spicy Feta Dip. Crazzy Greek does theirs with: Crumbled feta cheese mixed with roasted red peppers, jalapeno, oregano, and a blend of spices, served with pita bread.

If there’s a way to make a gryo look good in a picture, we still have not figured it out.

Most Greek restaurants have a version of a Spicy Gyro, so I made a deal with myself this week that I would find the spiciest Spicy Gyro in Columbus. I’ve been known to smash my fair share (or more) of late-night gyros from the carts downtown, but even in my later years, gyros are still a part of my six major food groups. The fluffy pita exterior and the shaved meat that lies within are comfort food that I still end up having cravings for. Just no tomatoes. Ever.

The spicy edition of Crazzy Greek’s Spicy Gyro is the “same as our original gyro, but with some fire. The Gyro meat is mixed with a homemade hot sauce.” When I see “fire” on any non-Taco Bell menu, I get excited. What could the sauce contain that gives it the highest of spicy marks? Gazing into the pile of banana peppers, onion, lettuce and gyro meat, I made my way in. First bite I was hit mostly by non-spicy toppings, but sometimes we have to dig to get to the treasure we seek. A few more bites in, I’d hit the sauce-mixed meat, but had nearly forgotten it was the “spicy” rendition of their gyro. With everything else piled on, the heat is nearly non-existent and left me wanting for a side tub of the homemade sauce. I couldn’t find the “fire” they spoke of, but held out hope for the next dish.

Loaded up and ready to go.

The “Fire Feta Fries,” whose alliteration knows no bounds, was the dish we were after. Recommended a while back from a Redditor, the Fire Feta Fries are one of five fry offerings from Crazzy Greek and one of two spicy fry options (the other being the Spicy Garlic Feta Fries). I looked down at the “Seasoned French Fries Topped With Our house-made hot sauce, Feta cheese, olive oil, Greek herbs and Spices.” It was the right color to be fiery, and there were visible bits of pepper skin in there, but would it surpass the low levels of the spicy gyro?

Snagging a spice-dusted fry, The Lady of the Farm chomped on in, her bravery moving faster than her brain. Three fries in, she gave me a shrug and sauntered away to her “Gyro on Rice.” Her non-answer to my questions of “Well?” was a sign that things were not as “fire” as we were led to believe. The dusting on top, that brings out a bright redness, appeared to be a paprika-like spice, dancing a bit with the taste buds, but not triggering any of the heat receptors.

As I removed a few more fries from the potato-ey Lincoln Log cabin, the house-made hot sauce appeared. A dull red, the sauce gave enough cover on the fries that I moved to consume the remainder with a fork. We were unable to confirm, but after a few forkfuls, my assessment of the house-made sauce is that it has a cayenne-like base, similar to a Frank’s Red Hot. I’d even be willing to place a wager that part of the sauce base is Frank’s Red Hot. The feta almost completely offsets the heat of the fries and any tingle I felt quickly faded into spud Smyrna. Did I enjoy it? Yes (I’ve rarely met a potato I don’t like). Is it fiery? No.

You may be saying, “Ron, it’s Greek food, what were you expecting,” and to a certain degree, I agree with you. But, the use of “fire” in menu items should be reserved for fiery items that get the mouth sweating or at least give me some semblance of a sniffle. All tolerances are different and to the “mayo is spicy” crowd, the Fire Feta Fries will be too much to handle, but the use of “fire” here factors into our decision. That in mind, we’re placing Crazzy Greek at #67 on our list, just above Siam Orchid’s Crazy Noodles, and below El Vaquero’s Pollo a la Diabla.

You can find Crazzy Greek in Polaris at 8325 Market Exchange Dr. Westerville, OH 43081 or Hilliard at 3640 Main St, Hilliard, OH 43026.

Look below for more in our spiciest dish in Columbus series and hit us up if you have any suggestions that are not already on our list!

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