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Fartfelt Thanks – Jalapeño Hot Sauce Recipe

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Spiciness Level: 2/7

A green sauce that anyone can try, even your non hot sauce loving friends.


  • 5 big Jalapeños
  • 1/4 cup Onion
  • 6 Garlic Cloves
  • 1-2 cups Vinegar
  • 1 Tbsp Lime Juice


  1. Chop the jalapeños up a bit, we want them to mingle with everything else during the initial cook.
  2. Toss all non-liquids into a saucepan over medium high heat and cook together. Add a skosh of water to let everything simmer together.
  3. Once things soften up, about five minutes, transfer to a blender. Start to blend, adding vinegar as you go.
  4. Once its at the consistency you like, pour in the lime juice and continue blending.
  5. When the blending has appeased you and the shrubberies are the proper height, place the mixture back into your saucepan.
  6. Simmer down now for 10 minutes and transfer into bottles. Watch as your friends become amazed at your abilities in the kitchen. You are a wizard. We believe in you.

This is a pretty basic recipe for jalapeño sauce, but we feel like we’ve finally got the ratios the way we want them. The key was buttloads of garlic the entire time, who knew?!

Behold! The jalapeños, onions and garlic before they met their blended demise.

The in-law of the farm loves this saw, so when they were in town a few weekends ago we whipped up a batch. Apparently it’s mostly gone already, the sign of a winner! Finding jalapeños is typically an easy task, but on this particular grocery trip, the first two places we looked they were gone. Like, completely gone. Not, “ohhh, all the good ones are taken, darn” but every single scrap was gone. We ended up finding some fat, ugly (in a good way) jalapeños at our local Asian grocer, same as where we found the unripe green Thai Chili used in our Kingdom Farts hot sauce. It would be cruel to talk about the ugliness and not show you, right? Fair enough, here’s the ugliest pepper.

Not that bad, but you definitely don’t think “oh boy, that is one good looking jalapeño!” For this particular mix, we didn’t blend it quite as much as usual and that was a bit off-putting for some of our tasters, so be warned. Probably some more vinegar/water and a blended down a bit more for good measure. Super simple and easy to make quickly before a football or board game party. It is with fartfelt thanks that we hand this recipe off to you dear reader.

Kick it up a notch with one of our sauces

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